The homeschooler is often looked at as the odd – the abnormal – the different… But homeschooling is really cool – and I don’t mean popular. Homeschooling is a wonderful family based way to educate your children, and a great way to destress your life and return to a more simple existence.
Stress seems to be the order of the day -and children often pay the price for it. Lives are full and so busy that often children are rushed here and there without the ample opportunities that they need to investigate, learn, and grow. Homeschool can be a relaxed sort of “cool.” A lifestyle where your chidlren learn in a fun way – where they can’t wait to do their “schooling” for the day. We enjoy being home together playing and learning and just being family.
If you are tired of being rushed here and there and want to change to a more simple lifestyle – give homeschooling a try. There is an option for every type of family and every homeschooling need in math, language arts, science, and social studies. Take inventory – make a change… relax… you’ll never miss the stress.
I had forgotten just how amazing it is when a child learns to read their first words. Today, I remembered the joy I had at teaching little ones how to read! – I am so thankful that I have had the priviledge to give this priceless gift to so many little people when I taught preschool. But today, what joy! I was able to finally give that gift to my own little preschooler. She smoothly and effortlessly began reading her own simple sentences! It always reminds me of the caterpillar – so ugly in its little brown cocoon. Then at a time when we least expect it – out he comes as a beautiful graceful butterfly. I have seen this process and it is so amazing that it takes your breath away! That is just how I felt today – watching this little person come into the beauty and grace of reading that she had been working so hard towards for the last few months. I know a few months back I posted on how frustrated I was with her. I never thought we would make it to this point just a few short months later. I am so thrilled and so happy – and so excited. My heart always rejoices to tell them when they finally learn to read – that now you can read the the Word of God all by yourself!
This was an added blessing, for today in Bible we were studying the fruit of the Spirit, not only the ones in Galatians, but the ones listed in II Peter 1:3-9. We were going through each of these mentioned, and came to “knowledge.” I asked all of the children what they thought Peter was saying when he included “knowledge” in this list? One of them answered that to gain knowledge and seek knowledge was a fruit of the Spirit. Wow! This was an open door for me to have a little “family talk.” Each of the children had been battling with all of the work of school and to be honest – with a bit of laziness. So, as we wondered and studied why knowledge was listed – I was able to show them how this was all a part of our being “conformed to the image of Christ.” Each of the fruit of the Spirit is listed to show us what those characteristics and qualities are that “should” come from a heart that belongs to the Holy Spirit. I think they were kind of suprised that knowledge would be listed among others such as gentleness and brotherly love. But why would our Creator have made a world full of amazing things and given each of us amazing inds – if we weren’t supposed to study and learn and gain knowledge and understanding? I never cease to wonder at our God – and how He “hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness.”
II Peter 1:3-9“According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that perain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue: Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. Ande beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; and to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; and to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Doesn’t it seem like those two words should be considered antonyms? I know when I am feeling stressed – I don’t feel very blessed… But sadly my stress is almost always – my fault. I know – you are probably thinking – what in the world?? I have to admit, it isn’t the typical psychotherapeutic terminology. But it really is true. My children – each one – so different yet so wonderful, so intelligent, so special – – but in a heartbeat can turn me inside out. They have demanded so much of us since the moment they arrived and naturally there is going to be a bit of stress involved with that. I think we all know that having children is definitely hard work – I am not talking about that stress. I am talking about the unecessary stress that we put on ourselves through our perceptions or expectations. The perceptions that I had about motherhood, being a wife, running a household, and even homeschooling put alot of stress on myself. I tried for a lot of years to live up to this standard of perfection that I had. All the while making myself miserable. Sound familiar?? Anyone else do this?? Now, I know having goals is a good thing even a necessary thing, but I had to get to the place that I saw those as just desires I had for my life – not the standard of my success or failure. I think having six children made this a necessity – I came face to face with the fact that I could not do it all.
I had to see where I was – stressed out with trying to be all that I “thought” I had to be – and to take a step back. I had to do this in almost every area of my life. I wanted the “Better Homes and Gardens House”, the wonderful husband, the perfect marriage, behaved children, on and on it went. Of course, the most important was my relationship with my family. So, I made myself stop and examine what I was doing – to see how I was teaching them and training them. At the beginning of our homeschooling journey, I had the idea that to be a success I had to teach them like I did in the classroom – spoon feed them EVERY tidbit of information that they would have gotten in a typical classroom. There was just NO WAY with six children, that I could do that and do it successfully. I had to realize that “I” was stressing myself out. Who said I had to do it this way – who said that I would be a success if it all happened just as I “thought” it should? I had to step back and see that not only was I stressed, but so were the children. They did not enjoy our days – they were bored and aggravated. I really was so very blessed – God had given me a wonderful family – but I was the problem!
There were many areas that I had to deal with this in – but after I realized that our “stress” in the homeschool area was a product of my insane desire to be perfect…. 🙂 We were able to reevaluate what we were doing and change some things for the better. We had always used the ABEKA curriculum, and to be honest that is what I had used throughout elementary and high school. I understood it – I had taught it for 10 years – I believed it was the best for our family – but trying to teach it “classroom style” to 6 children was killing me … I had to make some changes. We took what we thought were the most important elements of that curriculum, and then used some other types of curricula for reading – science and even history. But then we added an “online program” to give the children some excitement. I know every family is different, but in our house – if it has to do with the computer – it has to be fun! This simple change – has been amazing! But I didn’t stop there – I had to accept that my house was just not going to “beautiful” every moment (maybe not even clean most of the time). BUT I have 6 children – I am blessed! I guess just applying the question – am I making this stress? Helped me to evaluate my life to see that there are so many beautiful, precious things in life that merit our focus – not our misguided perceptions.
Do you have trouble with “stressing” your self out? Take inventory – look at your life from a different perspective – it might make all the difference.
In my days as a private school administrator, I cannot guess how many times I heard parents tell me that their child was gifted and they thought once enrolled, the child would simply need to be advanced a grade. It is funny, but most of those children were just good, healthy, “normal”, yet wonderful children. However, in the eyes of those parents they were so much more.
It is only natural for parents to feel that their proecious little one is a “child progeny.” I am personally thrilled when parents think their children are special (in a healthy way, of course). There are so many children who live life with no encouragement or praise from their parents. Parents who cherish their children and give them healthy praise are rare, and definitely give their children an edge by doing so. Many research studies support the fact that children who are encouraged are more confident and determined than other children who are not encouraged or praised.
Yet, praising children is more than just a pat on the back and the obligatory “Nice job!” Many child psychologists say we need to praise our children, but if it isn’t SPECIFIC praise then it may be harmful. That’s interesting isn’t it? So, praise and encourage your children, but identify the specific behavior that they are doing so well. It is the effort that matters most – not the innate gifts that we have such as intelligence, strength, or beauty. Isn’t it true for all of us, “It isn’t what we are given that matters, but what we do with what we have been given.” Give it a try – praise your children for the effort that they put forth, a good attitude that they displayed, or even good personal discipline that they exemplified, and that will encourage them to keep at it.
But wait – can there be too much of a good thing? These same psychologists seem to think so. I guess that would compare to chocolate… I love chocolate and could (probably) eat it all day long. Yet a complete diet of chocolate is not good for me. In the same sense praising a child too much can lead to serious problems. Research has shown that children who were excessively praised were less confident and less determined to face difficult challenges.
In our personal lives we are often very busy – yet we try to be as involved in our children’s lives and education as possible. This moment by moment influence is truly one of the core reasons why we homeschool. Yet, in the midst of all of that, it is common to lose sight of the “big picture.” Whether they are doing handwiriting, spelling, or even their online schoolwork there are always opportunites to encourage them, especially in areas that they have had struggles!
This little study into praise has made me more determined – and I encourage you – to be a proactive parent and to foster admirable qualities in my chidren. I plan on doing this by first, praising them and encouraging them; second, being there for them; third, spending quality time with them; and finally, by letting them know just how special they are to me!
Have you ever felt alone on your homeschooling journey? Well, I sure do. There are days that I feel like normal is no where around. Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to encourage a homeschool martyr syndrome. Yet, the feeling of being alone can be very real. Even family can alienate you, and after 5 years of home educating some members of our family still think we are pretty “out there.” All that aside, I used to try to defend our position, but recently I have decided that it really isn’t worth the trouble. We believe it is the right thing for our family, and trust that in time people will see the difference in our children.
That is why I was so encouraged when I read an article this week by Dr. Ray from the National Home Education Research Institute. Dr. Ray says that homeschoolers total almost 2 million in the United States alone. Can you believe it? I was so suprised. He also said,
“Homeschooling – that is, parent led home based education – is an age old educational practice that a decade ago appeared to be cutting edge and “alternative” but is now bordering on “mainstream” in the United States. It may be the fastest growing form of education in the United States.”
WOW… Could it be possible? Homeschooling bordering on the mainstream? I sure would like to let a few people in on that one! But for now, I am thrilled to know that homeschooling is growing fast. That means there are alot of others out there just like me! That helps dispell the loneliness, but sometimes we need interaction on a more personal level. I know there are the tried and true methods of homeschool support groups -but ours is pretty small and we don’t do too many activities. So for me, I have looked into online alternatives. There are online support groups and even homeschool forums. I have been getting involved in some of these, and it has helped me to see the “big picture.” There are so many wonderful home schooling families out there. If you are feeling “alone” in the home education world – try one of these. You’ll soon begin to see that homeschooling may be “bordering on mainstream” after all.
Interested in a homeschool forum? Try this parent forum.